Tag: off

After a Few Weeks Off

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Some of you may have noticed that I’ve been taking a break from the blog. I didn’t announce this. I didn’t really even plan on it. I decided to take a week off of all social media, which was incredibly good for my brain, only getting on to share that week’s blog post. Then I decided to give myself a week off from the blog while still keeping my doomscrolling in check. And another week passed without my noticing. 

I kept writing down blog ideas on post-it notes, but I felt no urgency to write about them. I was very busy at work, writing freelance after work, and when I was done with all of that I didn’t want to write. With the boiling pot of the news, I didn’t think anyone would notice if I took a few weeks off. I read voraciously for a few weeks, and for the last couple of weeks I have crocheted voraciously. 

I’ve also been reconsidering, as I do periodically, the social media platforms I’m on and why I’m there. I’ve asked myself both what do I get out of that platform and what I’m contributing to it. I haven’t made any major decisions related to them, but I have decided to prioritize my mental health in two specific ways. 

1. Get Outside / Exercise
The weather is finally shy of abysmally hot and the past two weeks, I’ve spent significant time outside more days than not. And I feel good. And I want to be in the habit of those walks with Tyler, and my walks on days when he runs, when the weather grows colder and I don’t want to go out. I also want to be back in the habit of using my rowing machine.

2. Strict Social Media Boundaries 
I was pretty good of not getting on social media or checking for news until after breakfast, but the evenings were when I’d find myself doomscrolling, unable to look away as the constant cycle and the terrible on terrible events and news and theories went on and on. With Tyler’s encouragement, I started putting my phone away at least an hour before bed and kept my hands busy to spend less time on it during the weekends.

The ongoing pandemic, the coming election, and the coming of winter all herald warnings for my mental health. I wrote about it earlier this year, and it’s not as though 2020 has let up since then. 

I hope your brain is as healthy as it can be, and that you have found a few ways to take better care of yourself this year.

A Day Off Is Saving My Life

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“Every person needs to take one day away. A day in which one consciously separates the past from the future. Jobs, family, employers, and friends can exist one day without any one of us, and if our egos permit us to confess, they could exist eternally in our absence. Each person deserves a day away in which no problems are confronted, no solutions searched for. Each of us needs to withdraw from the cares which will not withdraw from us.”

—Maya Angelou

Last year, I wrote about how poetry was saving my life. I put the question that sparked that post to myself this week and discovered that having a day off last Saturday made the biggest difference in my life. Prior to Mother’s Day, I’d traveled 3 weeks in a row. I was so tired. I was trying to recover from a cold. I was worn out. And as I looked around, I saw dishes piling in the sink, baseboards needing dusting, a tub needing scrubbing, and a mounting pile of laundry. Getting those things done would make me feel better, but they’d also leave me as physically exhausted as ever.  

So, on the first Saturday I’d had at home in a month, I sat down with my toast and reread passages of Aurora Rising, a book I’d recently read and loved. I washed my hair, then lay on the sofa with Tyler and watched a couple of shows on the science channel. I met my former roommate for lunch and then we went to see The Hustle. I ran a couple errands afterwards in the rain, both necessary for Mother’s Day the next day, and arrived home with my arms laden with bags. I dumped them all on the floor and fixed myself a bowl of ice cream. I enlisted Tyler’s help to wrap the presents for the next day. I checked on my plants. I dozed. After a frozen pizza dinner, I watched two Hallmark movies, then went to bed. 

I sometimes talk about being socially exhausted as being “peopled out.” Saying this to my former roommate once, she quickly offered to leave me be, but I answered, “You don’t count.” Of course, she counts as a person, but she isn’t someone who tires me out, whose presence drains me of energy. This puts her in company with only a couple other people in the world. I can want nothing to do with all of humanity and still be happy to be in her company. She still holds that position, but now Tyler’s there too, along with my best friend and my brother. My ideal day involves a lot of quiet time to myself, or in the company of those few people who I can fully, completely rest around. 

On my ideal day, I don’t have to cook or clean. I don’t have leave the house at all. I nap. I eat something sweet. I read in the sunshine. I watch something funny. That Saturday was pretty close to perfect. But a perfect day off, a day of true rest, doesn’t happen on its own. It has to be planned for and it must be guarded. 

When I plan a day off, I make sure I have food for all my meals. I accomplish early or push back every possible chore, phone call, and obligation. Even if I have just one thing to do, it can feel like a burden until it’s over. At the very least, that one email or phone call distracts me from following my proverbial bliss. I let go of my expectations about the dishes and my hopes for the baseboards. I carefully choose who I’ll let into my day so I can spend my time recharging. I do simple, quiet things and let the simple quiet restore me. I set myself up for success by lowered my expectations for myself and focusing on my word for the year: enjoy. When I’m tired, I sleep. When I’m hungry, I eat. I’m kind to myself. I let myself heal.

I’m well aware that many people don’t have a whole day to set aside to do only the things they most want to do. For many people, keeping themselves alive for one day, doing the bare minimum, requires much more than my day requires. If nothing else, keeping another human or two alive, plus a couple of animals, requires effort I don’t have to put forth right now. And for many people, reaching that bar is all they’re capable of on a typical day. Our ideal days might very, very different be based on our season in life and who’s around us. 

What does your ideal day look like? And if that seems like too much to think about, what would you do if you had a morning or afternoon off to just rest?