The following are my reactions to The Last Jedi, which I saw last night, in no particular order with no spoilers and absolutely no context.

It’s already dead, what’s the problem?

Her hair really is much better this time.

I swear, the Skywalker men are weak as hell.

Get it, Chewie.

Swoooooon.

This seems like a bad idea. This seems like a bad idea. This is a Bad Idea. What are you doING THIS IS A BAD IDEA?!

#squadgoals

Hey! They gave her more than 1 line this movie!

DOUBLE TAP.

Well, like, wait a second.

I really need to learn the name of this pilot. She’s awesome. And I remember her face from last time.

Okay, but like, how are you going to get more of those?

The swoops. Why the swoops?

Luke Skywalker, actual drama queen.

So pretty. So deadly.

Maybe it’s a purple thing.

Dang, son.

Why did you leave a man in charge!? He’s going to ruin everything!

It’s a trap!

Well that was… a thing.

Ooooo, it looks like blood!

Okay, but physics tho.

Shoot him again!

Actual queen, Carrie Fisher. Oh! I mean Leia. Well, both.

Why do they always mumble when they’re saying new things? Let’s bring back the cool lady that enunciates when she says stuff like “Many Bothans died to bring us this information.”

…I thought they were gonna fight.

I did NOT see that coming!

I TOTALLY EFFING CALLED IT.

What time is it?

It’s a FAMILY!

You could say sorry, you know.

Devil’s Snare meets that scary cave place.

Aww, not the green one!

What’s wrong with your face?

Luke must have a thing for round houses. Better than a thing for sand.

Finn looks like he just leaped off a horse in an Recency romance.

Was that really necessary, Disney?!? I might expect that of Lucas, but not you.

Wait, that was it?!

That sounded much better than in the trailer.

I want that ring…. And Leia’s from before. #spacejewelry

Salty old man Luke!

Yuuuuuuuuusss.

Ok, that’s just creepy.

Ooo, shade! Massive shade. Here for it.

They even sound pretty!

Blue or green? Blue or Green? BLUE OR GREEEEEEEN??

Bahaha! Rocks!

*cries*